We Must Survive Surviv!

Yes, you read that right, and no, it isn’t a typo. Surviv is a third person shooter game, meaning you see your character from an overhead view. I’ve been told that it’s the 2-D version of Fortnight, but I can neither confirm nor deny that, seeing as I haven’t played Fortnight.

You destroy crates to get guns, ammo, grenades, melee weapons, outfits, medical supplies, and gear, which can also be found lying around sometimes. You may also find scopes, which increase your field of view. There are different types of ammo for the different types of guns (they’re color-coded), and different guns within each type. Everyone has their own preferences; I like the yellow-ammo weaponry because they tend to have large clips, and I’m not the most accurate shot.

Medical supplies are split into two groups, which I call “healing” and “adrenaline.” Healing supplies are bandages and med kits, which directly restore health. Adrenaline supplies are consumed, and then gradually give you health back until the adrenaline bar runs out. Gear is split into backpacks, helmets, and armor, each of which has three levels of possibility. Obviously, the higher the level, the better. Outfits are mostly useless, but there are a few that provide excellent camouflage.

The game has a “last one standing” premise to it. As the game progresses, the map gradually gets smaller as the “Red Zone” moves inwards. Standing in the Red Zone is possible, but your health decreases. You can see where the Red Zone will be moving to at any given time in the mini map, which is expandable if you hit “M.” How you survive is up to you – some people like to attack anything that comes near them until they’re the only one left, and some like to hide in bushes until they’re one of the last people left, and then they attack the remaining adversaries. It’s up to you!

You can also play “Squad,” either with random other players or with a group of friends. Let me tell you, it is an excellent experience to try and play this game with a group of teenagers in various, spread-out locations in the same room (*cough* passing period *cough*). It’s insane.

Squads are nice because you can communicate with your team to ask for certain supplies or ask them to go somewhere. You also don’t die immediately. Instead, you go to a slow and helpless crawl until one of your teammates revives you or you bleed out, which sounds awful, but it’s nice to get a second chance, and it rewards team members who stay with the rest of the squad by increasing their chances of revival.

It can take a little while to acclimate to the controls, but if you play enough it becomes automatic. Right click is communication/drop this item, left click is attack, , WASD are movement, 1-4 are selections of weapons (gun, gun, melee, grenade), F is to pick something up or open and close doors, and M is the map.

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We’re On Tour!

Now, wait, don’t get too excited, I’m not actually going on tour. Rather, I’m talking about a game called On Tour, in which you’re musicians trying to plan a tour to hit as many states as you can. It’s like 10 Days In The USA, right? Well, no.

On Tour board game with most of the locations filled in

For starters, it’s played on an erasable board with dry erase markers, but that’s not all. You see, in On Tour, you can only go to adjacent states in a given move. You’re also not going to only ten states, you’re going to as many as you can. And where you’re going isn’t based off of the color on the board, nor on adjacency alone, it’s also based on numbers. “What have numbers got to do with this,” you ask? Let me explain.

Each round, you flip over three state cards, and roll a pair of dice. You’ll get two numbers from the dice, once with the first die in the tens digit and the second in the ones, and one vice versa. For instance, if you roll a 2 and a 6, one of your numbers will be 26, and one will be 62. You then put each number in a state within at least one of the regions of the flipped cards, or, if you roll doubles, you put a star on one state in the available regions instead, which serves as a wild number. You can circle the number/star if you put it in one of the states you flipped, and not just the region. Eventually, every state will have a number or a star.

When finalizing the tour route, you can only go to a state of equal or greater numerical value to the one before it, so the game is a challenge of lining up the numbers in a manner that allows the most states without spreading them out so far that a stray number blocks the path. You also get bonus points for each circled state you visit, so try to incorporate as many of those as you can!

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Escape Rooms! …Digitally?

Yeah, you read that right. So, as far as I know, I’ve never done a real escape room. I have, however, done plenty of these online ones! A while back I stumbled upon HoodaMath (probably thanks to school friends, but no guarantees on that) and consecutively their entire Escape Games page. My cousins and I obsessed a bit, all three of us hovering around the screen and binge playing them together.

I’m not really going to be comparing this to real escape rooms, since, as I already mentioned, I haven’t really done those. Hence, these will be judged by their own merit and someone else can do a comparison.

There’s always a little bit of plot. Let me start there, because… well, the game starts there. They aren’t just throwing you into the situation; they have a blurb at the beginning explaining why you are where you are and usually some reason for why you can’t get out. You got lost, you stayed too late and the gates are now closed, etc. Not always realistic, but not all of the games are either. Hence, Escape with Hansel and Gretel.

The rest of the game is running around using the green room movement arrows and clicking on things to find clues, helpful objects, and locks of various types that need opening with your smarts and the clues you’ve found (or haven’t yet). They have an impressive variety of things to do and find, and despite the kids’ game animations they’re still difficult for me. In other words, fun!

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Eat This!!!

Or, really, please, please don’t. We need that. You know, for the rest of the game. And hopefully the many to come after. Because throwing burritos at your friends is too much fun to pass up.

Throw Throw Burrito items - 2 squishy burritos, a stack of Burrito Bruises, and a Fear Me token

Yes, you read that right. Throwing burritos. Yes, I’m serious. No, are you crazy? Of course they’re not real burritos! Do you know how much of a mess that would make?

Throw Throw Burrito is a fun speed game that involves collecting sets of crazy cards, and sometimes throwing fake burritos at your friends, in a variety of ways. You can duel with one other (like a good old Western back-to-back, walk, turn and draw), battle between just two, or have an all-out war, giving someone else (hopefully) a Burrito Bruise!

But that’s only if you get three cards of that type and color. Otherwise, you’re collecting other types of cards in groups of three, looking to gain points to become the Burrito Master, to be feared by all. There are no turns, just drawing from your deck and discarding on top of someone else’s, and occasionally drawing from the pool decks. So, you know, points for points and burritos because… throwing stress burritos at people is lots of fun? I mean look at those! They’re adorable and squishy and so much fun to peg Mom with. Repeatedly.

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Fire Boy and Water Girl

“Don’t die. No! No, green mud, jump jump jump…” Game over. This is about how games of Fire Boy and Water Girl go when I’m playing with my best friend. Technically, I’m not sure that it’s supposed to be a two-player game, but that’s how we always played it within our friend group. After all, there are two characters, and it’s easier to each take one than to play two characters doing completely different things at the same time. Then again, sometimes you really don’t want to have to share the controls, especially when it’s your seventh time running that map because someone keeps missing the jump (though realistically, who that someone is varies. It’s been you, too).

See, in this game, Fire Boy is controlled by the arrow keys, and Water Girl is controlled by WASD (try keeping those straight in your head as you try to avoid jumping to your death with two characters at once) and each can only traverse their own elements. If either of them steps in the other’s element, they die. This means that sometimes only one can go in a certain direction. There are also colored gems that only the matching character can retrieve, also suggesting that they should be the one to go in that direction. Green mud kills both, and is the bane of absolutely anyone trying to coordinate a jump on a swinging log so that they both make it across the pit.

You are scored (well, graded, it’s a letter grade) based on how long the round took you, and once you succeed the branching levels from it open up for attempts. I say branching because not all of them have only one track; some have three or more options from which to choose. You can always go back and play the other tracks as well.

Each version of Fire Boy and Water Girl has different systems special to it, like the Light Temple’s mirrors and portals and stuff, but I’ll leave those for you to discover on their own. I usually play it on Cool Math Games (1, 2, 3, 4). There is an official Fire Boy and Water Girl site as well, which is the one I’ll link to hereafter. This one has five versions, in order: The Forest Temple, The Light Temple, The Ice Temple, The Crystal Temple, The Element Temple.

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Rock Paper Scissors… Lizard Spock?

At our elementary school, at the end of recess we all had to line up by our class as sit down, and it took a ridiculously long amount of time. As such, my best friend and I took to playing games: Chopsticks, Concentration, a few others, and one that she taught me: Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock. Apparently it’s from the Big Bang Theory. At least, I think that’s what it’s from.

Anyhow, the rules for Rock, Paper, and Scissors, in relation to each other, are the same as in the original game (I sure hope everyone here knows how to play Rock Paper Scissors!), but there are new rules involved, since there are more components. The original rules are phrased eloquently in a semi-rhyming pattern, as I recall, but I never bothered to memorize that, so here are the new rules, blandly put:

Spock is the “Live Long and Prosper” sign from Star Trek. Look it up. Lizard is just a curled hand, like you’re drawing a lowercase “r” with your hand so that someone in front of you or to your right can read it. (*deep breath*) Spock vaporizes Rock and smashes Scissors, Lizard poisons Spock and eats Paper, Paper disproves Spock, Rock smashes Lizard, and Scissors decapitate Lizard. (*exhales*)

Personally, I think the best part of the game is acting out the end result. For instance, possibly my two favorites are Lizard and Spock, and Paper and Spock. To quote actual incidents of each, “*choking noises* No… I see the light… *hand flaps and falls flat*” and “No! It… does not… make sense! Gah! *hand flaps and falls flat*”, respectively. Because this is what happens when you get over-dramatic teenagers (or tweens, when we started) to play what should be a reasonably simple, straightforward game.

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I can’t get through! There’s a Bearicade!

No, that isn’t misspelled. I really did mean “Bearicade,” not “barricade.” That’s because Mom and I recently played a wonderful card game called Bearicades, about forests and scared prey, and big, scary lumberjacks and equally big and scary predators, but they happen to be playing defense and trying to protect the prey, so they count as the good guys. You know something’s gone really bad to get the predators and the prey to team up!

Bearicades

So there are these cute animals, all innocent and stuff (yeah right, like that snake wasn’t just waiting for a lumberjack to bite!) that are specially grouped into forests. You can choose whether you want to play beginner style by color, or by ring numbers. Each has a special ability, which will be activated as specified on the card (sometimes it’s when the animal runs away, when you Flip the card, or some, like the Salmon, can just be activated whenever).

Then there are the lumberjacks. The active player for the turn (designated by the Frog) draws the top lumberjack and places him in the middle. But of course, no lumberjack lumberjacks by himself, so each lumberjack card lists a certain amount of friends of his who also get drawn. The active player then gets to distribute the lumberjacks between the forests in whatever manner they like, the only rule being that each has to have one.

Then comes the predator phase. There are some really cool predators in the deck, like Cougars, Bats, Foxes, and Angry Bees, but most of the predators are Bearicades. No, not “bears,” “Bearicades,” named as such because they can block a lumberjack, leaving both in play but, at least for the time being, neutralizing the threat. Bearicades also have abilities that can be utilized if they are discarded, depending on the species of Bearicades, including Flipping an animal, forcing lumberjacks to Run Away, or allowing a trade of themselves for another Bearicade in the discard. Other predators can do similar to the latter two, though some allow a switch for any predator in the discard, instead of just Bearicades.

In the sad event that a lumberjack is unstoppable and reaches your forest, you must choose one of your four animals to Run Away as a result. The good news is, the lumberjack follows it over to the discard pile. Some animals also have effects centered around running away, making them the strategic choice, depending on the situation. The bad news is, that animal is out of the game for good, and you only have four of them, so you have to be careful!

Once all of the lumberjacks have been taken care of in some way or another, whether they’re staring down a Bearicade or the back of another lumberjack in the discard, it becomes Night. The player with the Frog draws one Predator for each player still in the game, getting first pick as to which one they want. Each player gets one Predator to add to their hand, and then the Frog passes and the next long day of fighting off the evil forces of humanity begins.

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Fluxx Who?

Or maybe Doctor Fluxx? Ooh, that could be fun. “Got a problem? Doctor Fluxx can help! When you’re feeling down, just grab a Fluxx deck and play! Relax as you get Time, Money, and the Rocket you always wanted! Change your goals to something that works for you! Watch as the rules that stop you from winning in life are discarded! Email doctor.fluxx@looneylabs.com for a free consultation today, and we’ll tell you what deck will target your problems the best! Doctor Fluxx — helping people one game at a time!”

Doctor Who Fluxx

On second thought, maybe it’s for the better that they called it Doctor Who Fluxx. Less confusion. For the most part, Doctor Who Fluxx is like the other Fluxx variations (see Science and Firefly Fluxx here, respectively): specialized Keepers, Goals, and Creepers, as well as some specialized New Rules, Actions and Surprises. For this version, the change that stood out to me the most was the grouping system in the Keepers. Some were marked as “The Doctor” or “Companions” with a little symbol on the side. Sometimes, you need a specific Doctor for the goal, but sometimes any one of them would suffice. The same goes for companions.

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Murder of Crows

Yes, that’s what a group of crows is called. But no, that’s not actually what I’m going to talk about today. Not that way. I’m here to, for the first time in a couple of weeks, actually talk about a game! Yeah, I know, it’s about time, but there’s a reason we re-branded….

Murder of Crows

Anyhow, there’s this game called Murder of Crows that I got in my stocking for Christmas. Crows are actually barely involved, it’s mostly about the murder. Each of the five letters (yeah, there are five letters in “murder”: the “r” only counts once) has an effect when played. It either affects the players’ hands or their murders, which are the cards set out in front of them. When you play a card, you put it in the stack for that letter (“r” has two stacks but one effect). The goal is to get the six stacks necessary to spell out “murder.”

Once you spell murder, you get my favorite part of the game: the story. Each letter has a part of a sentence (who, where, why, how…) that, when put together, create a story. As a writer, I love this method, and it gives you some interesting stories, like the guy who killed someone in a dark alley with nail clippers thanks to a misguided sense of justice. Not as well worded here as it was with the cards, but just be glad you didn’t get the pictures. The bloody nail clippers are the stuff of nightmares.

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Prepare for a Knuckle Sammich!

Or, well, it isn’t so much a Knuckle Sammich as a Kobold sammich or just a non-descript sammich… but that doesn’t sound as cool, so Knuckle Sammich it is!

In Knuckle Sammich, everyone is a Kobold, trying to eat the most sammiches without getting eaten by your friends (oh yeah, did I forget to mention that Kobolds have cannibalistic tendencies?) and serving King Torg (“All Hail King Torg!”). Because Kobold paws are quite small and don’t have opposable thumbs, they can only hold one card at a time, so when they draw a card at the beginning of their turn they must immediately play one of their two cards.

Knuckle Sammich Card Game (Kobolds Ate My Baby!)Cards have five important parts. There’s the meat, the flavor, when in activates, what it does, and the footnote. Meat is only really important if a card someone plays specifically says so. The numbers range from -1 to 13, and there are also variables such as how many beverages are on the table or how many sammiches you’ve eaten. Flavor can be chicken, bacon, beer, Kobold, baby, pretzel, everything, and, if you have the Kickstarter special, pickle. Again, these only really matter if a card brings it up.

Cards can activate in three different locations: In Your Paw, When Played, or On Your Plate (your plate is the pile of cards you’ve played). In Your Paw cards react to what someone does while you’re holding the card. There’s a card called Cursing where if one of the players swears while you have Cursing in hand you eat them. Eating a Kobold means that they place their paw face-down on their plate and are out for the rest of the round, and you get to eat a sammich. When Played is exactly what it sounds like, and On Your Plate means that it is the most recent card you have played (so, at the top of your plate).

Obviously, the most important part of the card is what it actually does. I used the example of Cursing earlier for In Your Paw. A common card is Fork, where you guess a Kobold’s flavor, and, if you’re right, you get to eat them. While the action is the most important part of the card, it’s also pretty straightforward, so I’m just going to move on. My favorite part of the card is definitely the footnote. Occasionally it’s something useful, like “You both get a sammich if you tie,” but most of the time it’s just funny. Some of my personal favorites are, “You would be surprised at what a Kobold considers soup,” “Kobolds have been known to not stop eating when they reach the plate,” “Kobolds will never understand why ‘adventuring parties’ don’t have a buffet,” “Random horrible death is the leading cause of death in Kobolds. Being lunch is in the top ten though,” and “#Drunk #Yolo #BeerAndPretzels #AllHailKingTorg.” I was shocked to find out that not all cards are fortunate to have a footnote. Oh, and I suppose the title of the card is mildly important. But not important enough for me to actually talk about.

A round ends when there is one Kobold left or when all Kobolds have been eaten, a card says to end the round or the deck (“Kitchen”) runs out and a Kobold needs to draw. The survivor (if there is one) and King Torg (“All Hail King Torg”) each eat a sammich before everyone is brought back to life, their paws and plates discarded, and a new round started. The game ends when the Pantry is out of sammiches, or if King Torg (“All Hail King Torg”) eats nine sammiches, automatically winning the game. Whichever Kobold (King Torg [“All Hail King Torg”] included) has the most sammiches by the end of the game wins and is crowned The Victor of Lunch! All Hail King Torg!Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail