Hear My Battle Cry

Have you ever wondered how battles from the American Civil War might have gone differently, were you in command? No? Well, that is a sort of specific thing to wonder. But if you’re wondering now, try the game Battle Cry!

Battle Cry has a number of battles you can play, setting up the board with appropriate troop starting places and terrain tiles for each. The terrains all have slightly different effects — if you move into the woods, for example, that unit can’t battle or move further that turn, but anyone attacking a unit in the woods gets 1 less battle die to attack with.

What are battle dice? Well, let me back up and explain the units, first. There’s infantry, which can move one space per turn and battle; cavalry, which can move three spaces per turn and battle; and artillery, which can move one space per turn or battle. There’s also generals, who can attach themselves to a unit to give the unit an extra battle die when attacking.

So… what are battle dice? Well, when a unit attacks, you roll battle dice to determine how many enemy pieces they hit. Each die has five symbols — infantry, cavalry, artillery, crossed swords, and a flag, with infantry appearing twice. For each roll that matches the enemy unit, you remove one piece. Crossed swords counts as a wild die, and a flag forces the enemy unit to retreat one space back towards their side of the board (or be eliminated, if they have nowhere to run). The amount of dice you roll on an attack is determined by what kind of unit you’re attacking with, and how far away the target is. Cavalry have three battle dice, but can only attack from an adjacent hex. Infantry and artillery have longer ranges, four and five respectively, but decrease in battle dice the further away the enemy is. So, for example, if I used an infantry unit to attack a cavalry unit adjacent to them, I’d get to roll four dice — if, however, the cavalry I was attacking were three hexes away, I’d only get to roll two. The target also has to be within line of sight, which means that a straight line between the centers of the two hexes must be unobstructed by any other units or terrain that would impede it (hills, for example).

The units you can move/battle with (order) on a given turn are determined by cards. How many cards you have in hand depends on the map you’re playing, but in every case you play first, resolve, and then draw at the end of your turn. Cards can have fairly small effects, like “order 1 unit or general on the left flank” (the board is split into two flanks and the center), or significantly larger movements, like how Mom opened our last two games: All Out Assault, which lets you order every unit you have. Yeah, sweet initial draw, right? For the record, I still won the second of those games.

You win the game by being the first player to capture six flags — each unit has one, as does each general, and it’s the last piece of the unit to fall.

Battle Cry is a fun two-player game, balancing the strategy of battle with the luck of the draw and the dice, and providing an accompanying history lesson for each map you play.

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Tower of Hell

No, I’m not talking about Jenga. Tower of Hell is a Roblox game where you’re trying to reach the top of the tower before the timer runs out and the tower resets. The catch? It’s a randomly generated layout each time… and there are no checkpoints.

Tower of Hell is an obby — in other words, an obstacle course. Each section of the tower sports its own challenges, from gaps you have to jump, to sliding zones (think moving sidewalks, but more likely to vroom you off the edge and halfway back down the map), to glowing areas that will kill you if you touch them. Dying respawns you at the very bottom, whereas falling off of something provides the opportunity to catch yourself on a lower level on your way down.

The progress map on the right shows where everyone is in relation to the sections, as well as the highest spot you’ve reached so far– the higher on the map it is, the more coins you get. Once someone reaches the top and steps into the victors’ archway, the timer speeds up, doubling its pace for each player who’s finished.

Usually, the clock is set for six minutes. I say usually because one of the things you can buy with coins are mutations, which affect the map for the rest of the current round — one of those is to add two minutes to the timer, and another, also pictured above, takes away the lethality of the glowing parts, so it’s just falling you need to worry about. Where mutations affect everyone, gears affect only yourself; both, however, disappear at the end of the round. In fact, the only in-game purchase of permanence are effects, which come in “boxes” that provide a random trail, gear skin (ex: Pastel Gravity Coil), or constant effect, like “Steaming,” which my avatar is sporting in the second screenshot.

As a final note, the (often witty) name of each section is displayed at their starting platform, which is the flat safe space that all sections have in common. I mention this specifically to point out that they are not the title in the lower right corner of the screen; that’s the name of whatever instrumental track is currently playing in the background.

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Ooga!

We’ve all wanted to be members of a prehistoric tribe, hunting dinosaurs for dinner and competing to be the next tribal chief, right? Right. Well, now you can, because that’s the premise of the board game Ooga!

In Ooga!, the board is a randomized array of dino tiles, comprised of 5 different color-coded species on 3 different terrains, as well as the occasional coconut (for nutritional balance, of course). The Tribal Chief flips over a menu, which will be the goal until it’s completed — for instance, 1 red, 1 purple, 1 green and 2 blues. The aim is to collect all the dinosaurs on the menu, at which point you call out “Ooga!” discard those tiles, collect the menu, and become the next Tribal Chief. The game ends once all 12 menus have been completed, at which point whoever has the most of them wins.

The catch is that you can only pick up the dino tiles which not only match at least one color on the menu, but also a terrain from the current bones. Each hunt, the current Tribal Chief will toss the four bones, and whichever flip picture-side-up are available that round. One of these, rather than a terrain, marks Coconuts as fair game, which act as a wild card to replace any one dinosaur when completing a menu.

I should also probably mention that once the bones are thrown, you collect dinosaurs on a first-come, first-serve basis by stabbing them with a suction cup on a stick. (Sorry, I meant a “spear.”) The round ends as soon as all but one of the players has caught a tile, or, since we were playing two-player, once each has caught one. Mom refers to this as “the matchy and stabby game,” and honestly if that’s not incentive to try it I don’t know what is.

(Apparently I’ve already done a write-up for this game, but I forgot until after I had already written this one, so… if you didn’t try Ooga! the last time I posted about it, maybe you’ll try it now.)

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Eco Fluxx!

Hey, would you look at that? It’s been over a year since I last wrote about a Fluxx variation (Jumanji Fluxx, December 2019). I guess we’re due for another one!

Our newest rediscovery in that vast, mythical land known as “the game closet” is Eco Fluxx. From Keepers like Birds and Flowers to Actions like Extinction and Pollution, this deck is, like the others, a fun and quirky reimagining of the original Fluxx concept. It’s more than re-themed cards, however, as like every version of Fluxx it has some unique mechanics of its own.

The first big difference is the Creepers. In any game of Fluxx, you can’t win if you have a Creeper in front of you (unless the current Goal says otherwise). In Eco Fluxx, though, there are 3 Creepers, and while they’re in play, nobody can win. Furthermore, 2 of them have a second, more active negative effect — Forest Fire will force you to discard one of your Keepers every turn you start with it in play, until you no longer have any (at which point the fire goes out and gets discarded). If you have Flood instead (or, ow, at the same time), then at the end of your turn you have to discard your hand and give Flood to the next player, until either someone intervenes (plays a card that allows you to discard a Creeper) or it’s gone through every player in the game.

The other feature that stands out as specific to Eco Fluxx is a particular subset of Goals that I’ve been referring to as the “[x] eats [y] Goals,” like “Snakes Eat Mice,” “Mice Eat Seeds,” and “Rabbits Eat Leaves.” The key difference here is that where most Goals say “if you have [x] and [y] in play, you win” and some Goals say “if you have [x] in play and nobody has [y], you win” (ex: the “Ferns” Goal requires Leaves and no Flowers), “[x] eats [y]” Goals say that you win if you have [x] in play and anybody has [y]. For instance, in the picture below, I won with the Goal “Bats Eat Insects” by having Bats in play, because even though I didn’t have Insects, Mom did.

Along with this new style of Goal are a couple ways to combat it — the first is Poison, a Keeper that protects your other Keepers from being eaten. The second is a New Rule called Camouflage — you can “hide” one of your Keepers by either playing it face down or flipping it over if it’s already on the table. You can only have one hidden at a time, but while it is, the card is treated as if it isn’t in play, meaning things like “[x] eats [y]” Goals, Forest Fire, and Keeper Limits don’t affect it. You can reveal your hidden cards at any time, but you can only hide them on your turn.

Unsurprisingly, I love this version of Fluxx at least as much as I love the others, and I hope you will too!

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New Desserts, New Customers

Some of you may recall that I wrote about a game called Just Desserts a couple years back. For those of you who don’t, I’d advise you read that post here before continuing with this one. Why? Because today I’m talking about the expansions!

Just Desserts currently has two expansions: Just Coffee, and Better With Bacon. Yeah, I know, ew. Believe me, Mom and I spent plenty of time making faces at cards like Chocolate Bacon Cupcakes and Maple Bacon Donut.

Customer named Kevin receiving his favorite dessert, Chocolate Bacon Cupcakes.

The expansions don’t change the mechanics of the game; what they do is add two new ingredients (coffee and bacon), and two new families, bringing the count up to 9. Each has 4 customers, and six new desserts. For each expansion pack, there’s one dessert that doesn’t have the expansion’s special ingredient in it, and a customer who’s favorite is that one dessert. Which makes sense — none of the other families have one ingredient entirely in common, after all.

All of the expansion cards laid out. Top row, left to right: Coffee Cake, Tiramisu, Mocha Cheesecake, Coffee With A Donut, Chocolate Espresso Beans, Coffee Ice Cream, and Cup of Coffee.
Second row, left to right: Conceptual Artist, favorite of Coffee Cake; the Movie Star, favorite of Tiramisu; Mr. Jitters, favorite of Chocolate Espresso Beans; and Doctor Coffee, favorite of Anything With Coffee.
Third row, left to right: Chocolate Dipped Strawberries, Chocolate Dipped Bacon, Bacon Ice Cream, Chocolate Bacon Cupcakes, Maple Bacon Donut, Bacon Chip Cookies, and Candied Bacon.
Last row, left to right: The Vegetarian, favorite of Chocolate Dipped Strawberries; Kevin, favorite of Chocolate Bacon Cupcakes; The Farmer, favorite of Bacon Chip Cookies, and Abraham Bacon, favorite of Anything With Bacon.

The one thing I think is really different with the expansions is that they each have a character who has their favorite listed as “Anything With Bacon” or “Anything With Coffee,” which allows players a way to use a single-ingredient card on its own (not possible with any other customers) or to use something with extra ingredients and still get the tip for a favorite.

Doctor Coffee getting Tiramisu, satisfying his requirements of Anything With Coffee.

For some extra fun and opinionated commentary (because seriously, why do people put bacon in desserts) I’d suggest getting the expansions (Just Coffee, Better With Bacon) to add to your base deck, or buying them all together at the Looney Labs online store. It’s worth it!

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Chopsticks

No, not the eating utensil. Chopsticks is a simple yet entertaining game I learned in elementary school to pass time while waiting in line. It’s convenient, as it doesn’t require much equipment — just two hands (at least four fingers each) and basic arithmetic.

I’ve usually played this as a two-player game, but you can really have as many people as you like, so long as you can fit them all facing each other (directly across for two, circle-ish for anything more) in whatever space you’re playing in.

Each player starts with both hands out in front of them, one finger on each raised. From there, whoever is going first will choose someone (anyone) and tap one of their hands with one of their own. The tapped hand raises a second finger, and play continues either clockwise or counter-clockwise (because it honestly doesn’t matter so long as it’s agreed upon).

It’s not always one that’s added to the hand. The principle of the game is that however many fingers are raised on the hand that taps, that’s the number added to the hand that’s tapped. Once a hand gets to five, that hand is fisted, put behind your back, or otherwise indicated as “dead.” If both your hands are dead, you’re out of the game.

Instead of tapping someone else’s hand, you can choose to tap your own together. This is an action of rearranging chopsticks; for instance, if you have four fingers raised on one hand and one on the other, you might adjust it to three and two. You’ll end up with the same amount of fingers raised, just redistributed, usually to lower the chance of a high-numbered one getting out. The rules vary by group (make sure you confirm them ahead of time!) so in some versions it’s acceptable to redistribute chopsticks to a dead hand, bringing it back into play, and in others once the hand is out, it stays out. It is not, however, a legal move to flip the values of your hands. (Think 2 and 3 to 3 and 2; nothing has actually changed, which prevents the game from properly progressing.)

The winner is, of course, the last person with at least one hand left in the game.

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Face the Ramen Fury!

Ah, yes, furious ramen. Or, well, ramen with chili peppers in it. But, like anger, that’s only a bad thing sometimes! Let me explain. Ramen Fury is a surprisingly backstabbing-intensive game of ingredient collecting and meal preparation.

Very basically, each player has three bowls, and each bowl of ramen can have up to five Ingredients (noodles excluded). To be eaten, there has to be a Flavor and at least one additional Ingredient. Flavor determines scoring. For instance, Beef Flavor scores for unique Protein Ingredients, whereas Shrimp Flavor bowls are worth four points per pair of Protein and Vegetable ingredients. There are also special Ingredients: Nori Garnishes and Chili Peppers. These can be played at any time (as a free action) into anyone’s bowl. Nori is a plus one, while Chilis are a minus one. That is, unless they’re in a bowl with Fury Flavor, which scores two points per pepper, and is where Ramen Fury gets the “Fury” part of its name.

You get two actions per turn. There are six of them: Prep, where you place an Ingredient in one of your bowls; Draw, where you take either a face-up card from the Pantry or the top card from the Ingredient Deck; Spoon, a twice per game action where you remove the top Ingredient from any bowl (including your opponents’); Restock, where you replace all four Pantry cards; Eat, where you finish a bowl of ramen, making it untouchable; and Empty, which you perform on your bowl of choice and is largely self-explanatory.

The final round is initiated either when any player has eaten their third bowl of ramen or when the Ingredient Deck is empty. Scoring is directly correlated to ingredients and handily mapped out on the Flavor/special Ingredient cards, making it quick and easy to calculate.

So, sit back, make some ramen, and appreciate the strategic Protein/Vegetable duality advantage of tofu!

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Burn In Hell

No, no, I’m not being rude or mean, and I’m not shouting at anyone today, I promise. That’s just the name of the game! That’s right, Burn In Hell is an actual game, and it’s loads of fun!

In Burn In Hell, you’re Demon princes (or princesses) fighting over the souls in the “Permanent Pitchfork Party.” The deck is made up of notable souls from throughout history — dictators, tycoons, serial killers, etc. Each card has their name (of course), an illustration, a biography (on the back), and actual mechanics-relevant material. These include their special ability, if applicable, and a number of categories: the value of the card, the “tags” (dictator, tycoon, serial killer, etc.), and however many of the Seven Deadly Sins apply.

It is with these traits that you match up groups, “Circles,” of four or more souls to score points. The mechanics for getting there are complicated, involving roundly sacrifices to the Pit, trading with the Pit, trading with other players, burning souls, and incredibly complicated multi-trade maneuvers, but basically, you’re trying to get groups of cards that either all share at least one trait (bonus points for more) or represent the Seven Deadly Sins, one each. The value of the cards involved, combined with the combo bonuses, along with any special pairings (some people who had met in life give you extra points if they end up in circles together) are added to your score.

While it’s important to make Circles wisely, you also need to make them quickly — the value of the cards sacrificed to the Pit each turn determine how much colder Hell gets, and the game ends when Hell freezes over. If you don’t watch the temperature, you could end up losing by a turn to your mother, and having to listen to her bemoan the irony in her winning score of 665.

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Chrononauts — But Bigger

I’ve already written about Chrononauts — a fun game of time travel, artifact collection, and screwing with timelines. But now, I’d like to introduce you to ÜberChrononauts: the ambitious combination of original Chrononauts with its prequel, Early American Chrononauts. In other words, twice the timeline, twice the cards, twice the chaos!

So what’s different? Well, besides having mixed both decks for fun variety, the end of the game is a bit different. In either game on its own, you win by completing your (one) mission, returning to the timeline of your (one) ID, or getting ten cards in hand. In ÜberChrononauts, you need to complete one of your (two) missions, one of your (two) IDs, and get ten cards in hand. Not all at once, of course, once you’ve completed one of those objectives you mark it as complete, without worrying about keeping the criteria for it intact. That would be even more confusing. Yikes. Also, rather than 13 paradoxes blowing up the universe, those 13 have to be in four consecutive rows.

Worried about sorting the two decks back out once it’s over? Don’t be! While the backs of the cards are the same, all of the Early American cards (except the timeline) have a little star in one of the top corners. The timeline is set off by, rather than the original’s coordinates of A-D, having designations of W, X, Y, and Z, allowing the few intermixed dates in the middle of the map to be returned to their own decks with no hassle.

All in all, it’s a longer, more complicated version of a brilliantly fun game. So, if you’ve got the time and the dedication to your many missions, play some ÜberChrononauts for some ÜberChaos!

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Welcome to Jumanji!… Fluxx!

Yep, another Fluxx. Specifically, the Fluxx that ended up in my Christmas stocking this year. (As well as a Doctor Who Fluxx 13th Doctor expansion pack, but that’s sidelining…) Don’t worry, there’ll be no spoilers here for the Jumanji films; I haven’t even seen the new one yet. More importantly, I’m not actually focusing on the plot, because, well… this is Fluxx. Plot? What plot? We make our own plots here, thank you very much.

Anyways, I’m not really here to talk about Fluxx, or the new Keepers and Goals for this version of it, as I am to talk about what’s new and different about the game mechanics in this version. I mean, sure, there are some interesting new cards — I definitely don’t recall having seen “Let’s Keep Doing That” as a New Rule before — but that’s not really big news.

The really big news is that there are Danger cards — cards with a yellow and black border that allow players to be “eliminated.” Elimination is both more and less drastic than it sounds — you lose all your cards, both your Keepers and the ones in hand, but after everyone else has taken a turn, you draw a hand of three cards and play from there. So you’re not out, you’re just kind of… starting over. The conditions for these danger cards are usually based around Keepers, like saying, “If a player has Albino Rhinos in front of them, that player is eliminated.” I may or may not have used a whole slew of Danger cards on Mom. What can I say? I grew up on Munchkin.

There are also optional Meta Rules, which we didn’t play with this time around, but as I understand it there are two of them. The first, if used, gets placed next to the Basic Rules in the middle, and indicates that you must shout “Jumanji” when you win the game. The second, “No More Lives,” gets placed at the bottom of the deck, and once it comes up it, elimination is permanent.

I should also probably mention that, like “The Doctor” and “Companions” in Doctor Who Fluxx, Jumanji Fluxx has certain cards marked as “Adventurers” and “Animals,” which for certain card mechanics are interchangeable amongst themselves.

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