Siren With A Cold

This is the last (for now) of my (fictional) prompted anecdotes. To read the other two, click here and here, respectively. They’re not connected; each story stands alone. Still, I hope you’ll give them a read!

Bette was one of those singers that could sing anything — or at least make you think she could, which was how her career got started. We were at a party during our senior year of college, messing around, as college seniors are wont to do. Most of the time, Bette had a good voice — that night, it varied whether she had a voice at all. Still, she joined in on karaoke, just like she did at every party. And it was… well, it was brilliant. The thing about Bette is it’s not her voice that makes her special, it’s her presence. She has this confidence that justs radiates, and you can’t help getting caught up in it.

That’s why, after her performance, one of the designated driver kids walked over and introduced himself as the son of a music agent. He complimented her performance, gave her his number, and offered to introduce her to his dad at some point when she was sober. He said, in effect, that anyone who could put on a drunk karaoke song and dance number, with a cold, at three in the morning, and still somehow enrapture the whole audience absolutely needed to consider a career in music.

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Barrel of Monkeys

This is another of my (fictional) prompted anecdotes. If you’d like to read the first one, click here. The two brothers “I” have in this story are completely made up, for plot convenience. Enjoy!

We had a great time at Niagara Falls last weekend. Riding in that little boat that goes under the Falls turned out to be quite an adventure — I nearly slipped on the wet deck at least three times, and my youngest brother, Peter, actually did! Luckily, our other brother, Tom, has great footing, so he was there to help Pete up.

Learning some of the history of the falls turned out to be an adventure as well. Did you know someone thought it would be a good idea to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel? Even more mindboggling, she somehow survived! A replica of the barrel she rode was in the museum, and, much to our parents’ dismay when they caught up, we three unsupervised children successfully found a way to fit all of us inside it. Getting back out… well, that was another adventure entirely.

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Lost in Translation

For the next couple weeks, I’ll be posting prompted anecdotes (without the prompts — those were written into the stories, so repeating them felt redundant and I like to keep you guessing). Here’s the first! As a word of warning, I really don’t speak French, so if any of the French translations, applications, or grammar are incorrect, that’s because it’s probably from Google Translate or other internet equivalents. Also, this didn’t actually happen, at least not to me. Nor did either of the other anecdotes. Just in case there was question.

Jim is such a funny guy! Our whole trip to Europe was like a big comedy show. When we got to Paris, our first destination, we stopped at one of the produce markets. That, in and of itself, wasn’t exactly surprising — we both love fresh fruit — but what happened that afternoon was. We were chatting with a local who was showing us the Bois de Vincennes when Jim asked her, “Voudriez-vous une pomme?” (“Would you like an apple?”)

She gave him a curious look, replying, “D’accord,” in a questioning tone. (“Alright.”)

Jim grinned, pulling a potato out of his pocket and handing it to her. “Une pomme,” he pronounced proudly. (“An apple.”)

She smirked a bit, shaking her head. “Une pomme de terre,” she corrected. (“A potato.”) “‘Pomme’ est… ‘apple.'” (“‘Pomme’ is… ‘apple.'”)

Jim feigned surprise. “Oh! Tu veux une ‘apple!’ Accorde moi un instant.” (“You want an ‘apple!’ Give me a moment.”) He slipped off his backpack and pretended to rummage around inside for a moment. “Aha! Vous avez ici, madam,” he said with a bow and a flourish, pulling out a pineapple. (“Here you go, my lady.”)

Similarly, whenever we met someone in Germany, he showed them a cheap sausage plushie he had bought online and said, “Isn’t it just the Wurst?”

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Endosymbiotic Theory

This is, admittedly, more scientific and probably also shorter than my posts usually are, but I’ve been busy, so this fun micro-essay for AP Biology is what I decided to post this week. I hope that, at the very least, this encourages you to look further into the various theories and system processes in biology; it’s actually quite interesting.

The Theory of Natural Selection states, in priniciple, that the organisms with traits that are advantageous in their environments will be the ones that survive to produce offspring, or to produce more offspring than their competition, passing on the desirable trait. According to Endosymiotic Theory, eukaryotes were formed when a larger organism engulfed a mitochondria and/or a cholorplast, and, finding that it produced energy, kept it.

This, of course, makes perfect sense in explaining why eukaryotes rose in the evolutionary ladder. Where many organisms would still have been respirating anaerobically, producing only 2 ATP (adenine triphosphate) per respiratory cycle, the newly formed eukaryotes, with their mitochondria, would have been able to partake in aerobic respiration, which can produce up to 38 ATP per cycle.

With the increased efficiency of energy production, and the initial lack of competition over the oxygen necessary for aerobic respiration, the eukaryotic organisms would have had a massive advantage over their mitochondria-less counterparts, increasing their likelihood of reproduction to pass the trait on.

To reiterate, the acquisition of a mitochondria, and with it, cellular respiration, would dramatically increase an organism’s efficiency of energy intake, giving it a distinctive evolutionary advantage over other primordial life forms.

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The Secret of My Success — the Musical

It should be noted that I rarely write about books, shows or movies, specifically because I find it difficult to properly express my appreciation of the works without spoiling anything. However, this musical was phenomenal, and I feel it warrants a post. Not about the plot, just a little bit of why I appreciate it. I will, as always, try to avoid spoilers.

I should start by saying that The Secret of My Success is new, and it shows. While the musical is based on a film (which I haven’t seen, so I can’t really compare the two), the casual use of (light) swearing and more traditionally “inappropriate” humor (nothing too crude, and if your children understand it’s not the musical’s fault) mark it as a modern work. So do some of its references — both Barack Obama and Prince Harry were mentioned.

One of the keys to this show is the humor. They make fun of themselves (“Is he singing at me?”) and have plenty of in-character comedic moments, so even though the story actually has a lot of deep, serious messages, you spend the whole performance laughing.

I can’t say much about the serious themes of this show, what made it so clearly modern, or the details I appreciated, because that’s spoiler territory, but I will say that I appreciated how intelligent the kid in this story is. Ernie is eight, which, it seems to me, is an age often written with linguistic difficulties and a lack of situational comprehension. Possibly because I was a precocious child, or just because I was close enough to that age to be interacting with real, live eight year-olds semi-regularly, this portrayal always bothered me. In contrast, Ernie is an intelligent, articulate young man, who, while he still (rightly) acts like a kid, is also aware of what’s going on around him. I can’t begin to pick favorite lines from this show, but Ernie definitely had some good ones.

In short, I really, really loved this musical, and I’d highly encourage you to check it out!

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Owls and Multilingualism

Yep, I’m talking about Duolingo. As some of you know, I’ve already posted about Rosetta Stone — another language platform. Yes, I’ve used both, and no, I’m not going to slam either. They’re both good, for different reasons.

Rosetta Stone offers a lot of languages (I provided a list in my post). So does Duolingo. As of when I’m writing this, they have Spanish, French, German, Japanese, Italian, Korean, Chinese, Russian, Portuguese, Arabic, Turkish, Dutch, Swedish, Hindi, Greek, Irish, Polish, Norwegian (Bokmal), High Valyrian, Hebrew, Latin, Vietnamese, Hawaiian, Danish, Romanian, Czech, Welsh, Indonesian, Swahili, Klingon, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Navajo, Esperanto, and Scottish Gaelic, organized by number of learners. As you may have noticed, some of these languages are from fictional universes, like Klingon. No, that’s not a joke. Yes, they legitimately cover those.

I also made a point of saying, “As of when I’m writing this,” because Duolingo is always adding new courses. They also add them faster than Rosetta Stone, namely because, as a subscription service, Rosetta Stone has to have the full course ready before they make it available. Duolingo, on the other hand, puts it up in beta and keeps adding to it.

That’s another point — Rosetta Stone costs money, Duolingo is free. Like I said, they’re both good, but, again, for different reasons. Rosetta Stone has the breakdowns I mentioned in that post, focusing on different parts of each lesson, whereas Duolingo really doesn’t (the closest they get is Tinycards). On the flip side, because there’s not a set amount of time until your subscription runs out, with Duolingo you don’t feel pressured the same way, which allows you to pick up multiple languages without concern over money and time management. I’m currently taking five.

Duolingo lessons also tend to be, in my experience, more… bite sized, I suppose. They’re faster and have less content per lesson to memorize, which allows me to binge Hawaiian lessons without running out of steam. Rosetta Stone lessons tend to be longer, taking an estimated ten minutes for most of the exercises.

As a final note between the two, Rosetta Stone gives you words in the target language and a picture to match it, whereas Duo gives you the English translations for the words. As I said in my Rosetta post, I don’t really know how to feel about that, or which I prefer, but they both work.

Overall, I’d say if you’re seriously intending to put a lot of focus and effort into learning a language, Rosetta Stone is the way to go, but if you just want something that you can work on in your spare time, or for fun (I picked up Hawaiian on a whim, for instance) you might prefer Duolingo.

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Parties At Cons!!!

I’m at Capricon, and while I’m not going to talk about the whole con yet, because it’s still going, I am going to express my excitement at the parties.

So, in case you don’t know, parties at conventions are in hotel rooms/suites in the evenings, and there’s generally alcohol involved. Obviously, I’m not drinking at the parties, because, well, ew, and also, you know, legal minor and all that, but now that I’ve been turned loose, I’ve discovered that they’re pretty fun to go to anyways. There’s food and conversation and (at least, at the comic book themed party) trivia and it’s a really casual way to hang out and chat.

A large part of why I get to roam is because my responsible adult is now busy helping run a party — the Box Fort, which my cousin and her friends started last year. Since they’re all busy with the party (which I’m not actually allowed into yet — they decided to make it strictly 21 and up for alcohol and legal liability reasons) I get to go to the other parties — basically, wherever I’m allowed into and have any interest in being, which is why I’m spending a lot of time in the Marvel/DC comics room and in the Books and Beer party, which an author friend of mine runs.

So, I realize this isn’t a particularly useful and/or informative post, but I’m super excited about this and wanted to share that energy. And the knowledge that there are, in fact, parties that are both welcoming and interesting for teens.

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“Make A Sci-Fi Setting,” they said.

And… I may have gotten invested. This is unlikely to turn into an actual story, but I thought some of you would appreciate this first part. Enjoy!


“Whoa,” I whispered as I took in the scene in front of me. This was my first time offworld, and I could hear my hired pilot/bodyguard, Ralph, chuckling at my amazed reaction. We were in one of the many floating markets on Neptune, a pressurized dome of layered transparent graphene extending from the shipping docks and enabling the artificial atmosphere. Though the planet’s distance from the sun should have made it nearly impossible to see here, it was bright within the market, the entire floor glowing a rainbow of luminescence, dull enough that it was not painful to the eyes unless stared at for an extended period of time. Newcomers like myself simultaneously flinched whenever we saw methane ice flying towards the market, courtesy of Neptune’s up to 2,000 kilometers per hour winds, while veteran shoppers ignored them as they bounced harmlessly off of the dome and into our dark, blue surroundings, which reminded me of the depths of the ocean.

My attention, however, was quickly drawn away from the exterior and towards the market before me, bustling with activity like a beehive. The difference being, we were all here for pleasure or for profit. Still, the analogy was startlingly accurate, looking out at the geometrically placed, neutrally colored booths of wood and stone and steel, where sentient beings ogled at and haggled over the nonsentient and the abiotic. I took a step forward and had to stop. Despite having been told that it would happen, multiple times, in fact, I was still trying to acclimate to the fact that I was heavier on this planet, thanks to its higher gravitational pull. Ralph, the only person who hadn’t sounded like a robot when he had said it, had also promised that I would get used to it soon.

Still, I took a moment to observe the market from there before I moved. I tried not to stare at the Centauri too much, but it was difficult. They varied so much in size and shape, each with their own species name, but since all of them had come from what we called Proxima B in Alpha Centauri, they were collectively known as the Centauri. They had reached our solar system fifty years prior, but I had never seen them except in photographs until then. For security purposes, aliens weren’t allowed on Earth, so they had set up shop in various other places. It was probably better for them, since they came from the Dark Side, as we’ve since dubbed it, the cold half of the planet that faces permanently away from their sun. They never settled on Venus or Mercury, rarely on Mars or Jupiter. They preferred colder planets, like this one. If the dome weren’t heated, and this place matched the outside temperature, it would be about minus 200 degrees Celsius here, and we’d all have been icicles. As it was, it was probably around 10 degrees (Celsius), and I had a double-layered jacket on for thermal regulation.

The Centauri had set out this way millennia ago in a large group of interconnected vessels largely referred to as “The Lifeboat.” It was sort of like that old story, Noah’s Ark, except that they had the good sense to bring more than two of each species. Each of their sentient life forms had sent what was deemed a survivable, genetically diverse population, which of course brought their fair share of luggage, as well as a likewise diverse group of nonsentient beings, as livestock. It was largely agreed amongst the global community that their sun, a red dwarf, being young as it was, was unstable, and it wouldn’t take much for it to cause devastation. They sent out The Lifeboat so that if something happened, their entire population wouldn’t be wiped out.

Though I tried not to stare, I did spend a large amount of time doing just that. Even as I began to make my way forwards again, my eyes were locked, not on the merchandise, but on the beings. Being the first-timer, standard human tourist that I was, I didn’t know what any of the actual species were, and they confounded me. I saw a multitude of what I took to calling Squids, though of course they weren’t. They were a palish-pink color, with four hooved legs all under the center of their body, eight eyes, each with four eyelids, and at least twenty suctioned tentacles that sort of flowed outwards from their body, like a fountain. Their skins were coated with a mucus-like, sickeningly sweet smelling fluid that seemed to emanate from their suctions, and they had no noses or ears perceivable to the human eye. One tried to sell me some sort of pitch black vine-like plant, as a medicine I think, but his odor made it difficult for me to think and I left the booth quickly.

As I wandered further inwards, I saw everything from one-legged frog men (the leg functioning like an omnidirectional wheel) to glorified flies that must have been seven feet tall, at least, to what might have been Earth monkeys had they not had their noses and their eyes switched, and had they not perfectly understood and spoken English. This last fact I found out when I whispered a question to Ralph concerning their anatomy. “Well how else are we supposed to see what we’re smelling?” One retorted to my question, which I had thought would have been too quiet for them to hear above the noise. Inside the booths, which were run by all sorts of Centauri, and some by humans, were so many objects and trinkets that I lost count: bright and colorful and beautiful fabrics, statues, designs; mind boggling machines and puzzles; a whole slew of plants and animals and bottles up for sale, as pets and foods and medicines.

If the visual input was overwhelming, the audio was only just barely bearable. All around me were voices, high and low and everywhere in between, and whistling, chirping, chattering, clicking… and somewhere, through all the din, I swear I heard music, too. As I moved from booth to booth, not really able to hear the vendors but nodding along with their words while I read the signs and looked over the merchandise, I was also bombarded with new, unknown scents. Some were pleasant. For instance I was rather fond of one plant that smelled like a mixture of cinnamon, licorice, and honey, at least until it tried to eat me. Some were not ever even remotely enticing. Almost all, however, I didn’t recognize, and doubted I’d ever be able to name or even describe.

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Strikes of the Gilded Age

The period from the 1860’s to 1900, also known as “the Gilded Age,” was a time wrought with conflict between business owners and their workers. At this point in time, there were not yet many government regulations of industry, leaving business owners to do as they please. With dangerous working conditions, long hours and low wages, the workers stepped in–or rather, out–to demand change, and they were right to do so.

There is a saying that regulations are written in blood, and the Gilded Age is most likely where that originated from. According to Khan Academy, “Between 1881 and 1900, 35,000 workers per year lost their lives in industrial and other accidents at work.” This is because, without anyone standing up to them, the business owners could do whatever they liked, and they cared a good deal more about production and lining their own pockets (and houses — the History.com article has some incredible examples) with money than they did about the people they were exploiting, and killing, to do that.

It was during this time period that many unions, like the Knights of Labor, were formed, and strikes became a more common occurrence. Two notable such strikes were the Homestead Strike at Homestead Steelworks, where a gunfight broke out between striking workers and the “strikebreakers” brought in to forcibly reopen the steelworks, and the Pullman Strike, in which railroad workers nationwide refused to move trains in protest of wage cuts without proportionate rent cuts in Pullman’s company town outside Chicago. In both cases government troops, in the former case state and in the latter, federal, were dispatched to end the strikes.

Not much progress was made during the Gilded Age. Management would crack down on the workers who dared to speak out, and when the government did get involved they consistently sided with the businesses over the workers. While some rights were won, those were on a business-by-business basis, rather than government regulations protecting the rights of the people. As a whole, little was accomplished for workers’ rights during this time. However, these strikes and the continued expression of discontent would pave the road for labor laws and industrial regulation in the future, providing us with the much safer working conditions we have today.

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